Tears of the Dragon #13: A Taste of the Screenplay

As I've mentioned on this blog before, I've recently started getting into screenwriting. Sure, I've had some limited experience writing for film in the past, most notably writing and directing a short film while taking a summer production workshop at the University of Southern California in 2002. It was a lot of fun, but something I never really pursued.

Since I've been pushing myself to structure my comic book stories in such a way that they could conceivably work well on film, it only makes sense to get into screenwriting for real. As it turns out, most of the great books on writing craft are focused on screenwriting. Almost everything I've read is applicable to comics as well, so I'm really enjoying taking the time to study up on craft.

I've already finished a feature length screenplay, and am in-between the second and third drafts. Needing to get a little bit of distance from that work before hacking back into it, I've decided to do a first draft of my comic Tears of the Dragon in screenplay form.


I'm finding that telling the story in multiple ways (as a treatment, as a comic book script, orally, and in screenplay form) enables me to push the story further. I know that writing Tears of the Dragon as a screenplay is going to make the comic better. And believe me, I have extremely high expectations for the the comic.

Now, I'm only about 1/4 into the first draft of the TOTD screenplay, but I'm having so much fun writing, I wanted to share a bit on this blog. Here are the first 4 and 1/2 pages of the script.

As always, comments and crits appreciated.

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FADE IN

EXT. ADEVAN FOREST - NIGHT

The forest grows dark as the sun sets. An OLD MAN and his
two grandchildren, CALLUM, 10, and CAYLA, 8, walk on a path
through the woods.

The Old Man stops.

OLD MAN

Hold now, my little rabbits! The

sun's a settin'. We best stop here

and continue on tomorrow. Callum,

fetch some kindling. Cayla, my

dove, clear us a place to lay our

bones.

Eager to please, the young children hurry to the task.

CAYLA

Yes, sir.

EXT. ADEVAN FOREST - MINUTES LATER

The old man rests his weary frame on a tree stump, smoking a pipe. The girl, Cayla, places vittles out on a neatly arranged mat on the forest floor.

The boy, Callum, returns, bearing as much wood as the lad
can carry.

CALLUM

Will this be enough, Grandfather?

OLD MAN

I should think so. Good little

workers, the both of you.

The old man lights a spark from a piece of flint, setting a fire ablaze, as the children sit on the mat and eat their meal.

CAYLA

Grandfather?

OLD MAN
Yes, dear?

CAYLA
Will you tell us a story before we
sleep?

CALLUM
Yes, please! One of your legendary
war stories!

CAYLA
Or a love story. How you and
grandmother met, perhaps?

The old man rises in front of the fire, a twinkle in his eye, as the two children look fondly on a man they love, but don't feel they truly know.

OLD MAN
A story you say? Hmmm. I suppose I
know a tale might be appropriate.

The old man takes a puff from his pipe.

OLD MAN
Ahem. Where to begin. I suppose I
shall start...

EXT. SKY - DAY - STORY

Two magnificient dragons fly through the sky. The larger dragon, SYTHIC, is grey and muscular. Sythic chases METTAI,whose soft green tone and more rounded features make her feminine, and somehow even beautiful.

OLD MAN (VO)
...the dragons!

The dragons chase each other back and forth through the sky like children playing tag.

OLD MAN (VO)
Once upon a dream, in the last days
of the reign of King Heldemort,
there lived two dragons.

The dragons land on a mountain side, Mettai nuzzling up to Sythic.

OLD MAN (VO)
They were in love.

BOY(VO)
In love?

BACK TO PRESENT

EXT. ADEVAN FOREST - NIGHT

Callum scowls.

CALLUM
Dragons can't be in love!
Grandfather, tell us a real story.

The Old Man dismisses the boy with a wave of his hand.

OLD MAN
Bah! What do you know of love, boy?
Let a hair sprout from your chest,
or a bit of timber enter your voice
before you try telling me 'bout
love.

He takes a drag from his pipe and teases-

OLD MAN
Now, shall I continue my tale, or
has a long day's march made ye both
ripe for slumber?

CAYLA
Continue! Continue!

Callum folds his arms.

CALLUM
Sorry, sir. Please continue.
(mutters)
But I still don't believe you about
the dragons.

OLD MAN
My children, the tales you've heard
of dragons haven't done them
justice. Of all the creatures ever
to walk this land, only one other
comes to mind whose passion can
rival that of the dragon.

The old man gestures with his hands, and the flames from the firelight cast a shadow in the shape of a dragon.

OLD MAN
You see, a dragon's love burns
hotter than a thousand suns. And so
too a dragon's hate.

CAYLA
And the other creature, Grandfather?

EXT. THE KINGDOM OF VAPOLANY - DAY - STORY

Commoners toil in the fields, a magestic castle off in the distance. A teenage boy chases a teenage girl through the fields, irking one of the laborers.

OLD MAN (VO)
Why, Man, of course.

The girl runs through the fields, looking back at the boy, not far behind her. She loves being chased.

OLD MAN (VO)
Since the Great Dragon Purge,
dragons have been scarce in this
land.

The boy continues his pursuit, loving the chase even more.

OLD MAN (VO)
What few remained were solitary
creatures, ever vigilant of hunters
and trophy seekers.

The girl trips on a stump and tumbles. The boy pounces on her and they laugh and giggle with one another as only first loves can. The boy slides in for a kiss, but the the girl's eyes widen.

OLD MAN (VO)
But not Sythic and Mettai.

The girl points up and the boy looks.

High in the sky, Sythic and Mettai pursue each other once more.

OLD MAN (VO)
Like all young lovers, the dragons
saw the sun rise and set in each
other's eyes. The rest of the world
mattered not.